A sample from BILLY RICHMOND AND THE APPLIANCE WARS
Work has only just begun on this children’s adventure, with the prologue and first two chapters complete. Nineteen (plus an epilogue) still to go. That said, here’s a little something from the unproofed/first drafted first chapter (entitled “The War of the Nerds”), in which we are introduced to Billy’s three best friends…
“Napoleon was the one who took advantage of the turmoil caused by the French Revolution,” Mrs. Sanders said as she continued her lecture. The 8th Grade World History class in front of her listened quietly, some totally engrossed by the content, and others focusing on the clock above the chalkboard, counting down the seconds and minutes until the bell would ring and free them from the torture of learning.
“Now who can tell me about Robespierre?” She waited for an answer, but none came. Finally, her eyes settled on one boy in the back of the class, whose eyes were focused more on the clock than on the list of names and dates written on the chalkboard. “Mr. Richmond?” she asked. “Billy?”
“Huh?” Billy replied, snapping out of his daydream. “Sorry, what was the question?”
“Robespierre. What do you know about him?”
“Uh… Wasn’t he the guy that was poisoned, shot, and drowned, but just wouldn’t die no matter what they did to him?”
“Nooo,” she said, maintaining her patience. “You’re thinking of Rasputin, but you’ll get half-credit for knowing about Rasputin.”
“Oh right… Wait, wasn’t he the one where if you say his name he disappears?”
“That’s Rumpelstiltskin,” Mrs. Sanders said with a dull tone. “Honestly, Mr. Richmond, how is it you can have such a library of information in that brain of yours without the slightest bit of orderliness? Can’t you catalogue all that know-how of yours?”
Billy had indeed picked up a lot of fun facts from his afternoons and weekends at his grandpa’s antique store, but to him, they were “fun facts” and nothing more.
“I mean… No offense, Mrs. Sanders, but when am I ever going to need to know about Napoleon?”
At that, the boy seated to his right, Freddie, perked up. “Yeah, most of us just eat the chocolate and leave the vanilla and strawberry in the carton anyway.”
(Freddie)
“That is Neapolitan, as in the ice-cream. I’m talking about—” The bell rang before she could finish her sentence. “We’ll try again tomorrow,” she said with a sigh as the students scrambled to load their backpacks and leave the classroom.
Seated to Billy’s right was Ronnie, who carefully slid his papers into his Super Mario-themed trapper keeper. “You’re coming over later, right?” he asked Billy.
(Ronnie)
“Yeah, but I have to clean my room first,” Billy replied. "I’ve got something to bring over, too.”
“What is it?”
“A toaster,” he said with undeserved awe and excitement. Freddie laughed, thinking Billy was joking. “No, really, it’s an antique from the shop. It needs tinkering.”
“Excellent,” Ronnie said as he zipped up his backpack.
The trio of friends exited the classroom and turned down the hallway. It was three in the afternoon on a Thursday. School was done for the day but the boys weren’t leaving. Instead, they headed to the large room at the end of the hallway, formerly a study hall, but lately it had become the home of the school’s burgeoning chess club.
A plucky, wire-thin girl named Janie was waiting for them by the door, with bright red hair tied behind her, though no scrunchie in the world could hold the explosion of curls that radiated from her crown.
(Janie)
“Trouble inside,” she said upon their arrival.
“What’s up?” Billy asked.
“D&Ders are filibustering.”
“Filla—what?”
“Filibustering. Really, Billy we just had American History and Civis last semester.”
“Ugh, more history.”
Freddie then chimed in with a raised finger. “Yeah, like today we learned that they named the chocolate, vanilla, and strawberry ice-cream after some French guy named Rapscallion.”
Ronnie shook his head, both embarrassed and amused. “That was like, a supernova of almost-right information.”
There’s more to the chapter but I’ll leave it there for now. Work progresses nicely, but I’m sure there will be tweaks and things made along the way. All the same, I hope to have the book done sometime in late April or early May, Lord willing.
~Matthew